Finland, Finland, Finland

Thursday evening in Helsinki. I just arrived and had a quick walk around. I've been to Finland several times before but have always stayed slightly outside the town centre. My observations thus far:

* These people really need to turn down their air conditioning. Seriously, the taxi in from the airport felt like I was riding in a refrigerated lorry and my room could double as a meat locker
* Like all of Scandinavia, the women here are supermodel beautiful. Two things set Finnish women apart: their hair is beyond blond- we're talking spun fleece -and they have the most amazing eyes you could ever imagine: sky blue with a dark ring around the iris. Stunning.
* Despite the horrible winter weather and good social safety net, there are still homeless people here. I can think of few places worse to live on the streets than Helsinki in January
* Buskers with bagpipes seem a little out of place
* The have the required Irish Pub
* My hotel is loaded with identically dressed Americans with name-tags
* Swedish might be their official second language but all the signs are in English
* I am now two-hours more jet-lagged
* My hotel room is beautiful. Huge marble bath (complete with rubber duck), comfy bed and enough pillows to build a fort
* €20 a day for Internet access is worse than nuts, it's criminal

I have to admin that after four-years of living this life, a bit of the luster has worn off. I still get off on traveling, no doubt about that but I'm starting to think a bit more about what comes after this, if anything.

In fact, as I was wandering around this afternoon I kept thinking, "if I don't want to buy anything, there is nothing here to do." The bright lights and pretty things are wasted on me- all my needs are already so over-fulfilled that I can't imagine simply buying things for the sake of owning them.

This got me thinking about what it is that I really need- how low and slow could I go with my life before it would start to get uncomfortable. I haven't had a chance to think it through properly yet but beyond decent food, shelter (preferably someplace quiet with trees and an ocean nearby), proper health care and warm clothes, a few other things popped up immediately (these are in no particular order and are subject to change, addition or subtraction without notice):

* My cameras
* The Internet
* A Mac laptop
* A good colour printer
* A mobile phone
* My musical instruments
* Drawing paper
* Good pens and pencils
* Books. Lots and lots of books
* Access to reliable transportation
* Earplugs
* Cooking utensils
* Root beer
* Peanut butter

Since I am talking about things I didn't mention people. Having good lovers and friends is vital. As much as I am comfortable in my own skin and with my own company, I do like to be closely associated with people who catch my drift.

I'd like to carry on along this train of thought but it looks like I just might be completely exhausted enough to sleep tonight and I don't want to waste even a few precious moments hacking away here when I could be investigating what dreams await.

Get OUT!

There should be no children allowed in Business Class, ever, under any circumstances. I don’t care if their parents pay triple for a ticket, put them in an E seat in the back row and surround them with a pile of foul smelling airline pillows. Two of my last four flights have been made torturous by the presence of howling rug-rats. At this very moment, one row in front of me there is a woman with two of the evil creatures. Thankfully she has one strapped down to minimize its impact on humanity. I can barely believe this, or indeed bring myself to write it but she is changing one of their filthy diapers! What the fuck is going on here?! What kind of twisted fuckhead would change their baby’s nappie while seated next to other passengers on an airplane? Get a fucking grip lady, there is a loo with a fucking pull-down baby changing table less than ten feet away. How fucked up does your social programming have to be to think it is right and acceptable behavior to clean up your crotch-fruit’s shit and vomit in the wide open spaces of a BA business class seat?

This makes me think that perhaps it’s parents I despise and not children. No. I don’t think so, children are evil things that serve no useful purpose until they can grow up and graduate from law school. Abortion should be legal until age 23.

Back in Blighty: up all night

I'm back from ten glorious days in California. I spend the first few days of any visit to the US experiencing a major cultural gear shift but after after a week or so I get used to big cars, big piles of food and big people. Having someone bag my groceries is such an unbelievable luxury that words alone can not describe the joy it produces in my heart.

It has just passed five in the morning and I have slept a grand total of fifteen minutes in the past 24 hours. I suffer the ravages of jet lag worse than anyone I know. The eight hour time change between California and London leaves me a sleep-deprived, psychotic wreck for weeks. When I made the journey in March I spent four days without sleeping at all. It was as if that part of my brain that controls my sleep functions had been removed. It wasn't that I didn't get tired, I was appallingly tired. I staggered drunkenly from house to tube to work to dinner, occasionally falling fast asleep in a chair somewhere and then waking moments later with a neck-snapping jerk.

Out of desperation I tried melatonin and it seemed to help make me tired but I awoke the next morning feeling hungover and spent the remainder of the day walking around in a haze- but at least I got some sleep.

Quarter after five now and I know that if I go back to bed I will toss and turn for an hour, doze off and when the alarm goes off at 8:30 I will feel even worse than if I just stayed up. Even if it were possible for me to get to bed now and sleep a full eight hours I would be fucking up my body clock even more.

I wish I could see the humor in all this but I can't. I've always had problems with sleep and up until a few years ago if I didn't get 10 full hours a night I couldn't function. Now my problem is insomnia- days and days will go by where I get only one or two hours of sleep per night. I don't want to drug myself to sleep and all the relaxation exercises I do, the meditation, the deep breathing, don't do a damn thing except remind me that I am still awake, mind racing, pleading with any god that will listen to grant me a few dreamless hours of unconsciousness. No such luck.