Wimbledon 2015: the BBC gets it very, very, wrong

Dear BBC,

As strange as it might seem to you, people who tune into the Wimbledon highlight show are kind of, you know, expecting to watch tennis.  Inane banter between clearly uncomfortable guests and an out-of-her depth Clare Balding make this travesty as painful to watch at home as it obviously is to the gathered crowd of stiff looking spectators.

In the good old days, you know, last year, John Inverdale served up (pun intended) fast, insightful commentary in an actual studio where guests didn't have to balance on wobbly stools and awkwardly hold their mics in front of their faces.  Inverdale also knew when to simply keep quiet, roll extended highlights from the day's matches and let the world-class tennis speak for itself.  Pro tip: a "highlights" show should actually show highlights, not just random clips of set winning shots.

I'm not alone in my displeasure.  The new format is being raked across the coals by fans and critics alike.  The BBC response?  As tone-deaf as a sack of anvils.

“We acknowledge that new formats can take some time to bed in with audiences, but we’re very pleased with the show and look forward to seeing it grow over the Championship.”

You just don't get it do you?  Whatever 20-something junior programming executive made the decision to abandon the tried and tested, enjoyable and hugely entertaining Today At Wimbledon for the travesty that is Wimbledon2day (Really?  Is that really its name?  Are we suddenly back in the 80s?) should be assigned as Jeremy Clarkson's caterer when the pies don't turn up.

Needless to say that my partner and I, her family, my family, our cat and indeed the entire population of all the major landmasses of this planet will refrain from watching this cringe-worthy train wreck until, as one commentator so aptly put it, "John Inverdale returns with a pitcher of Pimms."

Thank you BBC for eviscerating the most enjoyable two-weeks of British sport.
 
If you too are mad as hell you can complain directly to the BBC.  Here are the links:

Complaints

Comments

What?

Yet another slaughter of the innocents in the US and this time they're taking it seriously and enacting tough gun control measures!

Just kidding, they're banning a flag and blaming the victims instead.

I'm all for getting rid of blatant symbols of racism and bigotry but holly fucking shit America, flags don't kill people, people with access to an unlimited supply of weapons kill people.

I get it though.  The gun nuts have won.  Biweekly massacres are simply the price you are going to have to pay for keeping your "liberty". 

Strange that people in England, Sweden, France, Spain, hell, pretty much all of Europe, don't have ready access to guns and last I checked we haven't descended into either anarchy or totalitarianism.

26 June, 2015

Two monumental decisions in one week:

Health Care Stays.

Equality is legalized.

Let the celebrations begin.

And then keep up the fight.

23 June, 2015

Biscuits and gravy are the signature item on the breakfast menu of any good American diner.  Anyone (except, of course, the English) can make decent eggs and bacon but to properly execute biscuits and gravy is the mark of a true culinary artist.

In the limited and it must be said, horrific, world of English breakfast fare, there is no equivalent to an American biscuit.  Drop Scones bear a superficial resemblance but it is there that the similarities end.  While the average English scone has the density of a Neutron Star, American buttermilk biscuits are as light and fluffy as the chest-hair of an angel. 

Prime ingredient number two, sausage gravy, also has no direct English equivalent.  It is generally assumed that the English produce both sausages and gravy but to the English, "sausages" are rubber tubes filled with gristle and "gravy" is the hot brown water, flavoured with salt that they float in.  In contrast, American gravy is fork-standing-upright thick and speckled with chunks of crumbled sausage that comes from actual meat, as opposed to the fatty bits around the edges.

Biscuits and gravy are the Lennon and McCartney of the breakfast world: impressive individually but unbeatable as a team.  Along with Elvis, Jazz and institutional bigotry, biscuits and gravy are one of the defining icons of the American South.

20 June 12:40

London.  Dull, grey, London.  Tourists everywhere.  Something massive happening in Trafalgar Square that I want no part of.  Large women in pink track suits push their way through the crowds, clutching diet Cokes and screeching.  Spay-painted silver human statues form an honour guard along the path past the Apple Store.  Pick-pockets ply their trade from the open bags of families that stop to take pictures.  Guys in suits covered with buttons wait their turn as Mr. Unicycle finishes his act and passes the hat.  Covent Garden on a Saturday.